The Reality of it All
by MugiwaraMarimo
Summary: Sanji can't take life aboard the Sunny anymore. Warning for character death. Zosan. (Great thanks to Shaetil for helping write this with me)
1. Zoro

Sanji came at him like he did every other time he got like this and Zoro had little warning, eye going wide before hands hit his chest hard at the same time his feet were kicked out from under him. As his ass hit the cushions along the bench of the galley, his head bounced off the wall, teeth clacking together as pain erupted at the back of his head. "Ow! Fucker, what the hell..."

The words trailed off as Sanji climbed into his lap, kneeling on his left side as he threw his right leg over the swordsman before settling on his thighs. A soft caress of the back of the cook's hand brushed his cheek before nimble fingers ripped into his hair and yanked Zoro's head to the side as teeth sunk into his neck. The swordsman gave a sharp hiss, before relaxing into it with a groan as the blond sucked at the spot. So he was in one of _those_ moods tonight? Very well.

Zoro's hands came up, gripping roughly at Sanji's hips, pulling the smaller man tighter against him, grinding his own hips up to meet the blond. Sanji gave a whimper from his place, the vibrations running along Zoro's neck and sending a shudder down his own spine. His one hand gripped tighter in the swordsman's hair as the other trailed down his side to the knot of the sash around his waist.

The cook bit him again and Zoro grunted at it, snapping his eye shut from the rush of pleasure and pain it brought him. "Rushing it a little tonight aren't you?"

Sanji just snarled, attention moving to fight with the knot, pulling it apart with long fingers and pulling it from Zoro's waist with ease. The moss head moved his own hand, wrapping them around his katana with a frown. "What's with you tonight? You're being careless."

"Just shut the fuck up." For being the first words spoken since the girls left the galley, the blond's voice was harsh and smokey, hoarse from his lust as he threw the red fabric over his shoulder and attacked Zoro's mouth.

The marimo jerked his head back, hitting it against the wall again as the cook bit roughly into his lower lip and he frowned, or well, tried to, it was kinda hard to do anything with the jerk sucking on his lip like that, but he needed to set his weapons aside before anything else. Sanji was having none of that though as he pulled Zoro's hand from the three blades, them thankfully clattering just a few inches to the cushions next to them, placing the swordsman's hand on his hip.

Zoro dug his fingers into the jacket and pants, feeling out the cook's hip bone, trying to give back even the slightest hint of rebuttal from Sanji's onslaught tonight. Normally Zoro wouldn't have minded in the slightest, the following morning, baring his marks gleefully as he padded about deck, but Sanji crossed an unspoken line just now and that was unacceptable.

The temperamental chef was still pulling at his lip, and Zoro could feel his teeth sink into the soft inside of it as he tilted his head, squeezing his thighs tighter against Zoro's own as he ground his hips forwards. Sanji was hard, that was for sure. Of course so was he and he groaned at the layered contact between them.

Sanji let his lip go, sliding the flat of his tongue across Zoro's cheek, over the bottom of his scar to his earrings where he spoke harshly, still circling his hips as he kept grinding into the swordsman's lap. "We are gonna play a little game Zoro..." The cool, confident tone had what remaining blood Zoro had rush south. Sanji was always in control of himself and it was one thing he liked about the other man, but when he took control in situations like this...Zoro just melted, letting Sanji do what he will to the swordsman with ease.

"W-we are?" His lip hurt and his voice sounded husky even to him as he spoke, nipping at the cook's neck. "And what game is that?"

"I want to use your swords..." The breathless tone of the blond's words as he slid down the swordsman's body had whatever anger Zoro had at him about his treatment of the weapons disappearing. Oh, they had talked about that kink before, but the blond had always wrinkled his nose at it. _Why would you want to willingly cut yourself_ he had said once. Who the fuck knew why, but Zoro did and tonight Sanji was up for it.

With a swallow, the swordsman nodded, watching with his lust blown eye as Sanji dropped to his knees on the floor, moving the jacket away and exposing his chest. Threading the sash back through his fingers, Sanji held it up in one hand before standing up on his knees to push the overcoat off Zoro's shoulders. Zoro leaned forwards, pulling his arms from the sleeves, tossing the item away as he leaned for a kiss and the blond met him eagerly.

Tongues fought, neither one really gaining any ground over the other as Sanji's hands slid up the tanned chest, trailing the sash in one hand and over his shoulders, then down his arms to grip at both wrists. Zoro broke away as he felt the cloth tighten around his wrist. "What are you doing?"

Sanji's visible eye flicked up to him, his gaze steady. "If I'm going to give you yours, you gotta give me mine." Wordlessly and reluctantly, Zoro agreed, shifting on the cushions to let the blond tie his hands behind his back, before the cook bodily threw him against the wall again, the swordsman hitting his head for the third time that night.

He stood now, loosening his tie as Zoro panted from where he sat, adjusting his shoulders so he could rest comfortably against his hands, watching at Sanji towered over him now with an air of control that Zoro would never openly admit rocked his world completely.

"The white one right?"

Bare chest heaving with shallow breaths and excitement as he watched his lover now carefully pick up his most prized sword, Zoro nodded with a swallow. The Wado Ichimonji was the best suited for this for several reasons. One she wouldn't mind if Sanji touched her, knowing what the blond meant to Zoro and two, she would listen to even him. Kitetsu barely listened to Zoro, let alone anyone else and Shusui was to respectable to even want to partake in something like this. The Wado Ichimonji would partake with ease, threading the swordsman's skin with shallow stinging cuts and be done with it. She wouldn't hold it against him, forget about the occurance and that was just want Zoro wanted from her.

Not that Sanji wasn't skilled himself with knives, but this long blade was different than his short cooking tools. The blond's eyes were on the weapon as he slowly pulled her from her saya, setting the white sheath down with the other two blades before taking a single step back and resting the sharpened edge against Zoro's abs.

He couldn't help the moan that escaped him, just feeling the cool edge against his heated and sweaty skin was enough to make his hard on thump with all the blood in his entire body. He was pretty sure that Sanji most likely wasn't even going to have to touch him if this was how things were going to go. He would just cum right in his fucking pants and right now Zoro really didn't give a fuck.

The sharpened tip bit into the curve of his muscles, a drop of blood welling around it and sliding towards his pants. Zoro watched it eagerly, delighted at how a single drop of bright red could mar his tanned skin and excite him so much.

With a slow turn of his wrist, the cook dragged the blade upwards, elongating that thin trail, marking the swordsman with his own weapon and Zoro let his head fall back against the back of the couch, eye closing as he took in the stinging burn of the cut. He wasn't aware of the sounds he was making, but he knew he was as he listened to the faint echoes fill the kitchen. Zoro was getting harder by the second, if that was even possible, feeling a moist heat spread from where the head of his dick pressed against his pants.

The marimo looked down again, the long crimson trail rushing down his stomach to pool right before the bulge in his pants had him twitching even more, a heat already building in his gut from the sight. Sanji remained silent through it all, watching from half lidded eyes as the swordsman worked himself to completion with the most minute of touches from the other man.

The cook stopped, raising the weapon from his abs, using the blunt edge against Zoro's jaw to pull his head up. His attention snapped up to Sanji's who stared down at him. The swordsman couldn't help but work his way down the glinting steel of his blade, coming to the cook's pristine hand wrapped around the hilt. Did his enemies feel this way as they looked up at him like this? This need and want and barely contained excitement at being at the mercy of another? Most likely not, but Zoro groaned anyways, eyes trailing up the cook's body to lock eyes with him.

His shoulders strained against the bonds on his wrists as he leaned forwards against the sword, feeling a slight bite to his shoulder from the self inflicted wound, the Wado Ichimonji's hum of contentment music to his ears. The look in Sanji's eyes were harsh, the blond was judging him, Zoro could tell, but on what aspect of this night, he wasn't so sure on. Or maybe it wasn't even him as he noticed a slight shake of the blade, the cook's grip flexing along the wrapped hilt.

The blade scraped down his neck, over his collar bone and across his pecs to rest near his heart. Zoro's eye never left Sanji, he didn't need to watch where the blond moved the blade, he trusted his cook to not do any real harm. If anything he leaned into it, feeling the serrated edge break his skin and blood run down his chest with ease.

Eye fluttering closed from the excitement, he felt Sanji shift, placing his left foot on the cushion next to him, the edge of the katana shifting against his flesh slightly and pulling a choked whimper from Zoro. "I can't do this anymore." The words were barely breathed out, low and spoken more to himself than the swordsman, Zoro thought, as a searing pain pierced his chest and Sanji leaned against him.

His eye snapped open and the cook's face was right there, his breath warm on his cheek as the blond tilted his head to kiss at Zoro's frozen expression, an intake of breath lodging in his throat. He couldn't breath and his weapons were screaming now, all three, thirsting for Sanji's blood. The Wado Ichimonji was crying, or that's how the swordsman was interpreting it anyways.

The cook was impassive, not caring if the moss head was even capable of kissing him back as he let go of the sword's hilt with a defeated sigh. Pain rocked through his body, stemming from where the white sword bloomed from his chest and his heart beat rapidly, pumping blood to the wound as it spilled from around the silver blade, coating his chest and stomach.

Zoro wouldn't say he was speechless as Sanji stepped off him, but the swordsman didn't think the unwanted gurgle of his blood as it rushed up his throat and welled from his mouth really counted as a witty retort to the blond's words. He watched, helplessly, arms still locked behind him, hands clenching and unclenching from their place at the small of his back as the blond nonchalantly walked away, his dress shoes clicking across the Adam's Wood with his normal confident.

Sanji clicked off the light with ease, never looking back as he closed the door, leaving Zoro to bleed out in the darkness alone.


	2. Zoro's Angel

The swordsman was by far the worse Sanji had seen him as he entered the galley. Feet crossed and knees thrown apart, blood pooled at his boots, each drop a loud wet drip as it fell from his soaked through pants. His head had fallen forwards, body slumped as much as it could against the sword stuck through his chest. Arms pinned behind him as his shoulders sagged forwards as well.

He was still breathing though, as short and ragged as it may have been, the under lying gurgle of blood in his lungs echoing about the dark room. The angel's shoes sounded loudly, clunking against the polished wood and he crouched in front of the mortal, reaching out two long fingers to his chin and tipping his head back carefully.

Zoro's eye cracked open, his panting slow and labored as he winced in pain, unable to actively voice how much this had to of hurt. His gaze seemed to stare through the blond, eye already turning the gray of death as he remained unfocused, despite the fact he was looking right at Sanji.

His vision seemed to clear for just a moment as the gray eye widened and his mouth opened to speak, nothing but more blood flowing forth. It moved over his lip and down his chin, running over Sanji's fingers before it dripped loudly off them to mingle with the liquid of the swordsman's pants.

"Shh..." The blond spoke, moving his free hand to run calmly through the green hair. "It's okay." He shifted on his feet, ducking his head slightly in a hope to maintain the glimmer of light that remained in the swordsman's eye. "Listen to me. It's going to hurt, a lot, but I can fix this. I can heal you...Zoro?"

He saw the faintest hint of a nod and Sanji stood, guiding Zoro's head back to lean back against the wall, pressing against the shoulders to get a better view of the wound, all the while being mindful of it and trying not to jar him anymore than he had to. "This will most likely kill you, when I pull this out."

There was a slight grunt, or well, Sanji thought that's what that was as he easily wrapped his hand around the now bloodied hilt and pulled. The sharp weapon came easily, smoothly, clattering to the ground as the mortal arced his back in pain, attempting to cry out, but choking on his own blood instead. Fresh blood pumped from the wound, the crashing of it deafening in the blond's ears as Zoro's entire being slumped forwards again.

Zoro's angel caught him, his wings finally appearing, spreading to the sides with a displacement of air in the still room. He was covered in blood now as well, feeling the very life drain from the mortal swordsman as he held him, lowering them both to the floor carefully.

The dark aura rolled about the room, covering the flooring and licking at the walls, rumbles of what sounded like thunder marking the angel's own anger at this situation. Who attacks their own nakama? A lover no less! Crackles of blue lightning danced about them, the electricity in the air setting both male's hair on end.

Sanji placed his hand over the gaping hole in Zoro's chest as he leaned forwards to place a kiss against his forehead, all the light instantly turning, sparking and jumping as it dove for the body of the mortal, burrowing into the lifeless body with ease. When he pulled away, his aura already beginning to roll and compress back upon him, the wound was fully healed over, leaving nothing more than a small mark. The blond picked at the restraints on the mortal's hands, undoing them and throwing the ruined fabric aside.

Pulling his wings in, Sanji stood, hauling the moss head to his feet as he inhaled. That first sharp intake of breath as his eye flew open and he realized where he was. The angel released him, removing his arms from the swordsman's, stepping back and bending down to retrieve the white sword before standing again. He held it out, the bloodied blade resting in his open palms, marking his pale skin further.

Zoro's gaze slid along the marked weapon before he snapped his head up, narrowing his eye at the angel as he cautiously grabbed the weapon by the hilt, removing it from the angel's care. His free hand came up to press against his chest, silently asking the questions and Sanji nodded, stuffing his bloodied hands in his pockets and flicking his head to the side. "The rest is up to you now."

A fire raged in that one eye as Roronoa Zoro growled, spun on his boot heel and stalked towards the door, his grip just as white on the hilt as the weapon was herself. He didn't speak, not that Sanji expected him to, as he threw open the door and was gone, the force causing it to hit the wall and slam closed again.

Calmly, aura faded and wings gone, the angel lit a cigarette and sat down at the table, inhaling a long slow drag as he crossed his legs. He wouldn't go far. This would end badly. It usually did whenever the swordsman fought, but tonight that mortal fought with a rage and a will unlike anything the blond had seen before. And so he would wait till it was over, then he would go to the aid of his moss headed masochist once more.

He pitied the mortal's lover though.


	3. Chopper

Sanji was wrecked as he threw open the door. He smelled of blood but Chopper couldn't see any from the way his body was shadowed against the rising moon of the night. The edges of his person were illuminated, giving the cook a strange almost aura like glow as he took a step inside the tiny reindeer's office.

He didn't sense fear, but that's how he felt, listening to the almost too loud clicks of Sanji's shoes on the wooden floor. "S-Sanji, are you okay?" He asked, voice shaking as he tried not to let his primal instincts take over.

The cook grunted at him, moving to the side in a fluid motion and closing the door to the room with a soft click of the latch. Chopper blinked as his eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly, the one lantern hanging at his back and he could finally get a better look at the blond.

He looked like shit if the doctor wanted to be blunt about it. Hair was a mess and ragged, his tie was loose around his neck as his head was bent forwards and slightly to the side. His hand flexed open and closed as if he was trying to physically remember something, but it was eluding his body somehow.

Sanji ran a hand up the side of his body, as if trying to replay a touch from times past, biting his lip and closing his eyes. Chopper turned in his chair, standing up in it and leaning against the counter, shuffling through the contents of his cabinet. He paused as the man spoke, voice low, hoarse and cracked. "I can't do this anymore Chopper."

The reindeer's ears swiveled as he fought back the chill of fear that ran down his spine. That tone was so unlike their cook it spooked him, made his blood run cold. He needed to get Sanji to take these meds and try to talk him down from this heightened state he was in. "I...I know Sanji," he said quietly, pulling a bottle from the shelf and twisting the cap off. "Take one of these it will help you feel better." He held the small pill up between his cloven hoof, offering it to the blond.

Sanji moved then, with a swiftness the reindeer had seen countless times, but had never had it directed at him, smacking the item from his hand and kicking him back into the chair. His head snapped back, the blue helmet colliding with the wooden back of the chair. Tears welled from his eyes as Chopper screamed at him. "Sanji! This isn't helping anything! We all know how you feel!"

"None of you know what I feel!" He snapped back, slamming his foot to the floor and actually cracking the Adam's wood. Franky would not be happy about that in the morning. "Stop trying to placate me Chopper!" He spat the doctor's name, as if it actually hurt the chef to say it.

The doctor jumped in his chair, eyes cast off to the side as tears rolled unwanted down his cheeks. The cook's tone was beyond upset, almost on the edge of hysterics as he growled, grabbing a hold of Chopper's shirt, twisting the material in his grip tightly. "I _won't_ do this anymore Chopper." He growled out the words, the pain in them evident. He really couldn't blame Sanji, but there were other ways to deal with it.

The blue eyes were wide, frantic even and it actually reminded Chopper of what a cornered and frightened animal looked like. He felt his body rising from the chair as the cook picked him up, turning and throwing him harshly against the wall and the reindeer hit the floor hard. Chopper shrunk away from the foot that narrowly struck him, rolling to his back to stare up blurrily at the man.

Sanji's gaze was harsh as it fixed on him, mouth set in a grim line, eyes betraying no emotion except concrete commitment on whatever it was he planned on doing. "Lay still ya little fur ball," he snarled out, raising his foot again as he rolled his ankle in preparation for another strike.

"We can talk about this Sanji!" Chopper wailed, sitting up against the wall, before rising to his feet and shifting to his heavy point, hands raised and fingers splayed in front of him.

"I don't want to talk anymore!" Pulling at his hair, Sanji shrieked. "I'm sick of talking! I just want it to end!" He swung around as he spoke, his heel connecting with Chopper's thrown up fore arm. The little doctor's face contorted in pain as the bone snapped, but Sanji kept moving, a second kick from his other foot following the first as he completed his circle.

The second hit caught the reindeer's jaw and threw Chopper against the wall, head bursting in pain. There was another crack and blood filled his mouth, flooding over his tongue. What the hell had gotten into him anyways?! Why all of a sudden after all this time had Sanji snapped?! What could he do to calm him?

Tear filled eyes flicked back to his cabinet as Sanji stalked towards him, feet slamming against the Adam's wood loudly. He pulled his ears back in an attempt to block it out as he morphed back to his little form to duck another wild blow that exploded against the wall, sending splinters flying everywhere.

He never made it, the cook quick and light on his feet as he spun, a firm blow placed to his back and Chopper didn't need to hear the sound to know his spine hadn't held up against the impact. His body collapsed to the floor in a heap, pain rocketing about his body as he pulled in a choked sob. Tears flowed freely, but whether they were from the pain or seeing the blond breaking in front of him, Chopper wasn't sure as he lay there, unable to do much as paralysis set in. Spinal injuries were funny like that.

Smoke invaded his nose and why Sanji had taken pause now to light a cigarette was beyond the little reindeer, but as panic began to set in, his primal instincts taking over, Chopper really didn't care. He had to get away. _Needed_ to get away now. Find Luffy or the others. They had to stop Sanji before he hurt some one else! "Lu..." Words failed him as he gasped in pain again, body useless as his eyes flicked up to the blond.

His face was shrouded by the dim light in the corner, the red end of his smoke bright as he sucked in a long drag, exhaling slowly and carefully. Twisting on his left foot, shifting his balance, Sanji raised his right and pulled the stick from his mouth. The chef gave a small hum, as if thinking to himself before tilting his head and giving Chopper a malicious grin. "Always wanted to try reindeer."

Sanji's heel came down against Chopper's neck and he heard a crack, but the tiny reindeer heard nor felt any more after that.


	4. Luffy

Luffy bounded up the stairs as the smell of breakfast caught his attention. It smelled great! Of course everything Sanji made smelled great so he really couldn't complain. Unless there wasn't a lot of meat. Then he would be complaining. Sanji would most definitely be hearing about it if that were the case.

Throwing open the door, Sanji jerked his head up and looked at him with wide eyes. Smoke curled from the cigarette about his mouth and he looked off to Luffy, slightly pale...well paler and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was about to comment to it, to ask his nakama if he had sleep the night before, when the food on the table grabbed his attention and he bounced into his seat. "Whoa! No way Sanji! Look at all the meat!"

"Yes, Luffy," The blond's voice was slightly shaky, but not enough to really give Luffy any pause in his attempts to snatch the steaming food from the table. "Don't even think about it!" The cook barked and the captain froze, squinting his face at being caught.

The girls wandered in along with everyone else and as Sanji took his seat, setting the ash tray down quietly, Luffy took a count. "Where's Chopper?"

The blond spoke up at once, face hidden under his long bangs as he snubbed out the burnt stick. "He doesn't feel well. Was up with him most of the night. He's resting now." With a shrug, the dark haired Devil Fruit user dug into his food, snatching meat from who ever and wherever he could, laughing along with Usopp the whole time.

Breakfast ran its usual course and even with everyone thinking he was a blinded idiot, Luffy cared about his nakama and could see Sanji was at ill ease. He figured a good portion of it had to have been from staying up with Chopper all night long, but as Captain, he would have to speak with his cook and see if Sanji was doing okay. They all had been a little off as of late, but slowly they were beginning to pull together again. Sanji though...Sanji wasn't.

"Thanks for breakfast Sanji! Gotta go! Bye!" Usopp and Luffy both yelled, racing for the door and they broke through it out onto the lawn deck, running back for their fishing poles. Climbing up onto the rail like he normally did, Strawhat smacked his palm against his chin and sighed. Slowly the rest of the crew came from the kitchen, everyone drifting of to their own perspective corners of the ship.

It was lazy days like this that Luffy found the most boring. Nothing to do at all.

"Nothing. How long have we been sitting here? Usopp!"

"That's because we aren't using my new bait!" The sniper flicked his thumb across his nose and peered over the edge of the rail at the water. "I will go get some."

"Will it bring us Sea Kings?! The more meat the better!"

"S-Sea Kings!? I guess. It's not designed that way, but I don't see why it wouldn't." With a glance up the stairs towards Sanji as he exited the kitchen, Usopp took off, ducking below deck.

Luffy turned slightly as well, tilting his head to watch the blond light up a cigarette before lightly trotting down the stairs, coming to stand next to him before leaning on the rail. Sanji's hand shook slightly and the dark haired man instantly chalked it up to nerves. "Sanji," he started, voice quiet and grave. "It will be alright."

"No. It won't." The blond's words were short and harsh, mouth set into a thin line before setting his smoke against his lips and sucking harshly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Normally Luffy didn't care much for this serious Captain shit, but right now it seemed that Sanji may have needed it. Everyone else had come to him at one point about this, even Robin and she never spoke to anyone about something that may have been bothering her. Sanji was the last and dammit if he wasn't going to at least try to talk to the Strawhat chef. Some one had to.

The two were quiet a moment before Sanji sighed, straightening up and turning to face the other man. His gaze was hollow, blue eyes empty as he seemed to stare through Luffy and not at him. Strawhat cocked his head to the side slightly, narrowing his eyes in concern. "I just want to be left alone."

"It's not healthy Sanji," Luffy frowned. He wasn't entirely sure how it wasn't okay for you, but Chopper had said it enough times that it must have meant _something._ "Talking could do you some good."

"I don't want to talk." Sanji shrugged, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked on the cigarette, flicking it back and forth with his tongue. "I just want it to be over."

"Over? Sanji it won't ever be over. We all just need to learn how to live with it."

"I don't _want_ to live with it Luffy." Sanji's voice was monotone, lacking any of his usual emotion, even if it was anger. There was absolutely nothing and this concerned Luffy. He tilted his hat back, eyes wide as he gazed at the taller man.

"You will need to move forward along with the rest of us." His voice was stern. He didn't want it to be an order. How did you order someone to change? But he did want Sanji to know he was serious in his comments and not just messing around.

This seemed to strike a nerve in the cook. His entire body tensed and he chewed at the butt of his cigarette, grinding his teeth together as hands snapped into fists at the rail. The younger man regarded him calmly, eyes searching his weary face as he tried to understand the emotion conveyed by the chef. Then Sanji growled, a sound Luffy had heard countless times before. A sound that meant the rage and anger had peaked and he was going to lash out. He kept his cool though as he waited to see what Sanji would do next. "Fuck off _Captain."_

The hand to the back was unexpected and it threw him off balance as Luffy tumbled over the edge, the reality of the fact his cook just pushed him purposely overboard not catching up to him till he hit the water with a splash. Eyes widening in shock at both the cold and the reality of the situation because no one else knew he was here. Usopp had been the only other one and he had gone below deck.

Instantly his body felt weak and heavy; some unseen force grabbing at him and pulling his entire person deeper into the depths of the ocean. Bubbles escaped as he opened his mouth; the tang of salt water flooding over his tongue. He never expected it to end this way, not in the slightest. Of all the stupid ways for a Devil Fruit user to die...

Even as he sank, the bottom of the Sunny and the light of the surface darkening just like his vision as his body's need for oxygen grew, he wasn't angry. Maybe disappointed as the darkness of the sea rushed up to apply pressure, making even his arms and legs hurt from the force of it. Luffy didn't blame Sanji though.

No, he would never blame his cook. Not when he understood.


	5. Brook

Brook frowned...or well, he would have if he had any lips, at the pages in front of him. This new song he was composing was relentlessly tiresome. The tones and melodies just weren't quite right and no matter what he tried, he couldn't get it to sound perfect.

And it needed to be. It was to become a new attack after all.

Picking up his violin bow between long boney fingers, he raised the instrument to his chin and began to play again, listening as the notes drifted about the aquarium bar with ease. That sounded better. Much much better.

Setting the items down on the back of the piano, he bent to scribble some note marks on his paper, pausing as he heard the clack of shoes behind him. Sanji stood in the doorway, cigarette perched on his lips, smoke curling lazily from it. "Oh, Sanji-san, feeling better?"

"Naw," the word was dragged out almost casually, but the tone was very dismissive. Taking a drag off his smoke, he blew a cloud of white into the open room. Jerking his head back the way he came, he spoke. "You wanna help me? I need to get some clams from the bottom of the tank."

Carefully Brook set his quill down. Sanji had been off recently, that was no lie, but he very rarely came to the musician for help. He turned, crossing his arms behind his back, waiting for the cook to continue his explanation. When he didn't, giving a shrug and huffing a sigh instead, the skeleton decided it was better not to answer and followed the chef willing towards the back of the ship where the hatch to the large aquarium lay.

The clams in the tank had actually been Robin's idea, claiming if they could produce the right environment for them, they would multiply. Both Sanji and Zoro had been pleased with this, grinning from ear to ear with the large rocks they had discovered covered in the edible mollusks. They had most certainty taken to the tank during their two years separation, that was for sure.

As they crossed to the hatch, Sanji flicked his cigarette over the rail, loosened and removed his tie, suit jacket, shirt and shoes, standing barefoot on the small area as he folded and set his things aside, pulling a knife from a small shelf that Franky had set there. He claimed it was better than the two men slamming the knife used to pick the clams off the rocks into his precious ship over and over again. Zoro had done it out off spite before jumping back into the tank.

Franky had threatened to close them inside the large fish bowl that day.

With a easy whirl of the latch on the hatch, Sanji pulled it free and turned to Brook. He seemed very pale out here in the morning sunlight, the sleepless circles under his eyes made even darker by the shadow of his banged hair. Their poor cook was still at a loss, they all were.

"Explain to me please, Sanji-san why you need my help in collecting the clams? I am of no help to you in this." Sanji shrugged, sitting on the lip of the hatch, feet dangling in the cool water.

"I need a lot, just swap out the buckets for me so I don't have to climb out." And with that, the blond slipped effortlessly into the water, disappearing below the surface. He seemed to be gone a long time, yet again time was irreverent to him now as he watched the quiet waters around him. Things seemed too calm and surreal here on the Sunny with the crew some days.

Brook would often wonder as he watched them lounge about on the deck in the evenings, playing his calm and sweet melodies, if this was all just a long terrible nightmare and he would again wake up in the mists of Thriller Bark, alone and stuck without his shadow.

A deep breath from Sanji had him turning and he reached for the pail, shock evident in his demeanor as the blond snapped a hand around his wrist and pulled as he ducked below the surface of the tank again. Surely Sanji hadn't forgotten he was unable to swim! In fact the last time Luffy had thrown several of them over the edge of the deck, it had been the Strawhat chef who had hauled him back upon the safety of the dear Sunny.

So then why? Why was he doing this?

Cool water flooded his skull as his bones grew weary and he sank fully beneath the surface of the water. Sanji let him go, kicking away from him with puffed cheeks of air. Hair swam wildly about his face, but his gaze was calm, steady. He knew what he was doing, Brook was sure of it now.

Thanks to his Devil Fruit, this would not kill him either as he sank in a tangle of limbs towards the bottom of the tank. He spied his piano and his littered papers about the bar room. It would, however, highly reduce his abilities to do anything besides lie at the bottom of this man built ocean and let the salt water sap what little energy remained in his being.

Quietly his bones came to rest at the bottom of the tank, against the very stones the cook and swordsman had placed here two years before hand and he watched as Sanji rose to the surface and hauled himself out of the water and through the hole, letting sunlight drift across the water.

That hatch that was the one way portal to his very existence at this point and as expressionless as he was, Brook's face was contorted in understanding panic as the hatch dropped closed and the last sliver or morning sunlight was blocked from his view.


	6. Nami

"Darling, your mid morning snack!"

Nami looked up as a very tired Sanji walked into her study. There was a small smile at his lips as he carried a tray. She was his first stop, seeing as there was drink and food there for Robin as well. Coming to the side of her desk, one arm tucked behind his back, the cook lowered the tray in a graceful bow. "The left items are for you my dear."

"Thank you Sanji-kun! They look great." Setting her pencil down, Nami took both items and set them aside, turning her attention back to her nakama. "How are you doing?"

"There is no need to worry about me Nami-swan." The blond's voice was stable, lacking that shake she had heard quite a bit recently. He did seem tired though and if he really had been up all night, the dark circles under his eyes he was trying to hide only worried her more. "Thank you for your concern though." Pressing a kiss to her cheek, Sanji stood and walked towards the door, pausing to glance over his shoulder one last time. "Enjoy the food Belladonna." And he was gone, closing the door with a soft click.

Nami ate her food and drink mindlessly, concentrating on her map in front of her, the lines not seeming to match up quite right. With a frown she erased one, lightly wiping away the pencil eraser bits with the side of her hand. She was glad she had switched to marking her paper with light pencil first. Her mapping paper was expensive after all, but only the best for her dream.

Standing, pushing off the desk in a huff, the navigator turned towards the window, throwing it open with a click of her bracelet before returning to her desk and finishing off the drink Sanji had given her. There hadn't been a shift in the weather that she had noted, yet suddenly she was really hot, sweat beading at her hairline with ease.

Fanning a hand at her face, gaze lowered at her mapping paper, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, trying to calm her suddenly racing heart. Eyes flicking to the dials on her wrist, Nami chewed at her lip. Those hadn't moved either...was it broken? Had something happened to it and she not noticed? Anything was possible with Luffy.

Resting her hands on the window sill, Nami searched the ocean laid out before her. Not a cloud in the sky and they seemed to still be on course. Tapping at the dials, studying how they shook, but didn't falter, she made a mental note to get a new pose at the next port...just to be safe. It was her job to keep the crew on course and alive in the water.

Slamming the window shut, she spun on her heel, gasping as the window rattled from her shoulders hitting it. "Zoro?!" The swordsman snapped a quick glance to her before grumbling to himself and disappearing out the door. No, that couldn't have been Zoro. There was no way in hell he would come in here. Even with how stupidly hopelessly lost he could get, Zoro knew not to enter her office. Man, she needed to lie down. Now she was seeing things...

Dropping heavily back into her chair, scrubbing her hands at her face, palms and forehead sweaty, Nami gulped as she tried again to calm her heart. Its seemed to increase, the steady thump against her chest only racing faster and faster as she began to pant. She couldn't breathe. What was happening to her?! Was she having a heart attack?! She was far too young, but in all honesty, she didn't know her true genetics and the Grand Line was a funny creature after all...

Had the pressure changed and she not noticed?! How could she have not noticed something like that?! It was her _job_ after all to be on top of these things! What if her readings had been off and she was now taking the crew directly into danger?! How would she ever forgive herself if they got out of this? What would Luffy say? Would he ask her to leave the crew? The future Pirate King would have no use for her if she couldn't do the one thing on this ship she was supposed to be able to do. This was her life!

Unable to catch her breath either, eyes wide in horror at the fact she could be loosing everything she had worked for the last few years, Nami stood. She needed to go see Chopper. She swayed on her feet, dropping back into the chair as a wave of dizzying nausea crashed over her. She had never gotten sick on a ship before, much less the Sunny. Were Usopp and Franky messing with something? Had the unforeseen mistake she made already made its way to the ship? Were her nakama in trouble?!

She thought she heard a yell from Usopp, but the ringing in her ears was way too loud and the constant pounding of her heart was beginning to hurt. Hands snapped up into her hair, pulling at the soft orange strands as she squeezed her eyes shut. The whole room began to spin and sway...she was going to be sick.

Her lungs clenched painfully as she tried to pull in a breath through her mouth, staring at the grained Adam's wood between her open toed shoes. She had failed. She was failing. Her family, her crew, her dream. All of it was going to vanish and it was her fault! She couldn't even notice this change in the weather and now it had all but immobilized her.

Falling to her knees, Nami tried to stand again, using the desk as a crutch and digging her nails into the wood. It hurt to move now, the pain of her heart and lungs flooding the rest of her body and she collapsed again. Leaning against the side of the desk took great effort and energy she didn't have to waste. She needed to stand. Needed to make it to Chopper.

Chopper, that's right...Chopper. The little guy was sick Sanji had said, but surely he couldn't have been too sick if he was walking in the door... His wide eyes focused in on Nami as she took a staggering breath, wheezing from the pain and stress on her chest. Some how she managed a soft smile as the furry doctor closed the door to the room, slowly, quietly.

Why was he taking his time anyways? Wasn't it obvious to him she was in pain and hurt? Oh well, he was here now and that's what mattered. A soft smile bloomed across her lips. He would take care of her. Chopper would know what was wrong...and then the pain gripped her tightly and Nami passed out.


	7. Robin

The realization of what he had given her and what he was doing came too late as Sanji sat near by, finger tips pressed together, head bowed. His suit jacket was thrown over his shoulders, but was open, tie loose around his throat. A feeling of sick dread welled in Robin's stomach as she realized that Chopper most likely wasn't sick, but had in fact already succumbed to the blond's fleeing and failing mind.

She figured this was bound to happen as the Strawhat chef was far from getting better, cracking more daily. It was only a matter of time before he shattered, but she hadn't thought he would do it this way. Only now did the bitter taste of her death hint at her lips and tongue. That had been clever of him, a page taken right from her own book.

In a way, Robin was proud of Sanji, for his underhanded, back stabbing plot, and in another way, she was horrified. Mortified that he, her nakama, had betrayed not only her, but the rest of the crew. She was beyond words for his actions, not that she was able to form them anyways at this point.

Eyebrows lowered slightly into her best glare as she studied the shaking form of the blond cook. "How do you deal with it Robin-chwan?" He asked suddenly and she gasped, but whether it was at his question or the pain building in her body, she wasn't sure. It had happened fairly quickly, and only now did her brain seem to be catching up to the fact that it was in danger. And too late she might add.

"D-deal with what Sanji?" The words came out broken between pants. That had been a smart move indeed for him to use what he had. She was quite impressed. Her abilities were useless if she could not move, the paralysis setting in quickly and setting fire about her body as she lay leaned back against the lounger chair of her library, book open on the small table next to her.

And to add it to her mid-morning drink? Even better. She hadn't even tasted it till it was too late, unable to even identify it till after the effects had begun to take hold. Her eyes flicked to the open page of her book though, the hand drawn illustration of the white flowers and tiny green leaves. Their cook was very cleaver indeed...

"The stress and empty feeling." Sanji was muttering near by, hands buried in his hair now. "I just want all this to be over. To end. I feel like I am going insane! I can't handle this stress anymore. I mean look at me Robin! I can barely even hold my knives anymore, my body just shakes constantly!"

_But you are,_ she wanted to tell him, but found her jaw parted slightly and her muscles unable to close it. Pain gripped at her chest and she shut her eyes against it. The archeologist could feel sweat littering her body, blood rushing through her veins in panicked attempts to keep oxygen moving through her system.

Sanji continued to mumble incoherently into his palms now as Robin tried desperately to move her body, any part, but it really was too late. If she was going to die, at least it had such strong similarities to her own powers. Sanji did take care in how he treated both herself and Nami after all. It made her wonder briefly what he would do to the navigator before pain wrenched at her heart and she gave a muted gasp.

Each breath became harder to take, each inhale more painful than the last. Clever clever cook, she mused. She heard him stand and it took all Robin had to fight through the darkness that now threatened her vision, a ringing building heavily in her ears, gulping in yet another painful breath as he turned to her.

He looked frayed, eyes wide, but unfocused, lips chapped and there looked to be a cut at one edge that easily could have been from his biting at it. The dark marks under his eyes were evident, the truth of him not sleeping the night before real, the reasoning up for debate as far as she was concerned.

Hands pressed against her shoulders, shifting her back into her lounger further as Sanji, brushed some hair from her face and gave the Devil Fruit user a sad smile. "I am sorry, Robin-chwan," he said quietly, bending over her to press a kiss against her forehead. Standing, he closed the book she had open, patting it once before letting his hand slip off it and turning to walk away.

Short, swallow and uncontrolled breaths came from her mouth as Robin began to feel her body shut down. Damn his knowledge of horticulture; him and Usopp both! She had overheard them talking in the past about the different things they both knew and the list of new things the sniper had learned while they had been apart.

The cook's hand reached for the door as Robin gave a stressed gasp, the feeling of her lungs constricting and her heart slowing to an almost complete stop instantly frightening her beyond anything she had ever known. She had known the results of taking such a poison, but to experience it was quite literally terrifying.

Sanji grasped the handle lightly, his shoes clicking softly as he crossed the threshold. Robin watched, unable to move as a ringing grew in her ears at the lack of oxygen now running through her body, the darkness closing in around her as the door clicked shut quietly.


	8. Usopp

Usopp had gotten distracted, lost track of time as he entered his and Franky's work shop. The large cyborg was bent over a workbench, torch blared to life. Lifting up his his goggles, the shipwright had grinned and asked if he had minded staying cause he could use his help and that would be super!

Instantly he forgot about his captain's wish of bait and the time had passed until he looked up at the clock on the wall. "Oh shit!" The sniper pulled off his own safety goggles, dashing towards his own bench and snapping up the tub of bait. "I forgot Luffy!"

"Have fun Bro!" Franky's voice drifted after him as he raced up the stairs, flailing about as he tripped over the last step onto the lawn deck. No one was there. Luffy was gone, as was his fishing pole, not that that hadn't been unexpected or anything. He really couldn't have expected Luffy to sit all this time with out anything exciting happening. He was most likely on the lion's head at this point.

With a sigh, he turned, cigarette smoke invading his nose and jumped back to find Sanji standing there. His jacket was gone, tie loose and the top few buttons of his shirt undone. They looked mismatched actually, man Sanji really was loosing it. His hair was messed, sticking out at strange angles, wild and unkempt. Poor guy needed to get it together, they were all upset and all changed by it, but...well Usopp supposed it was different for the cook.

"Hey, you okay man?" He asked, stuffing the bait jar in his bag and frowning slightly at his nakama. His answer was a growl and a spin kick to the temple.

When he came to, the sniper's head was pounding and as he worked his jaw, he could feel blood crack and flake on his cheek. Sanji kicking him hadn't been entirely unexpected cause, well, let's face it, it had happened before, but usually Usopp had to of done something, not simply ask if his friend was alright. It was clear though that Sanji was far from aright.

With a groan, he went to move his hand to feel at his temple, confusion marring his brow when he couldn't. Looking down to the reason why, fear snaked up his spine and he barked out a surprised laugh. There was nothing but water below him and in front of him. The great deep blue expanse reaching out farther and longer than any eye could see. Fear gripped him as his hands groped behind him, grasping onto what felt like a chain link. Snapping his head back, he saw what he was dreading.

Sanji.

Sanji was standing on the lion's head, smoke curling from the cigarette in his mouth as he glared down at him. Usopp's attention when back to the water and now he could see the blurry yellow and orange blob that would be a paw. One of the anchor paws. "Sanji! What are you doing?! Let me out of here!"

"No can do Usopp." It was the same hard tone he always used when the cook was set in his decision. He'd had heard it countless times, in fights, at dinner, when arguing with Luffy or Zoro. It had been a while since it had been used on him, but even still, he picked right up on the slight shake in it.

"We can talk about this!" He heaved his body against the ropes across his chest, struggling to get a hand free. All he needed was one and he could fish something out of his bag to get free. "Sanji! Please!"

"You guys all think I want to talk. Well I don't." Sanji spoke harshly and Usopp could hear the curled lip in his tone. His head snapped back to the lion's head again, but the cook was gone. When Sanji spoke again, the sniper had to tilt his head all the way back, almost craning his neck too far to look up at where the blond spoke from the rail. "Why can't any of you just understand that I want it to be over."

"I get it Sanji!" Usopp was shaking now, body going into a form of shock from his trapped position. "Just let me loose, we can talk...er, whatever. We will figure it out! Just...Sanji...please!"

"I have made up my mind longnose." With a dismissive wave of his hand, Sanji vanished from view.

Hot tears slid down his cheeks as Usopp gave a choked gasp. "Sanji! Sanji, wait! Please! I don't want to die like this!" The whirl of the gears that controlled the anchors sounded, cutting off whatever the Strawhat sniper was going to say next. The tears fell unchecked down his face now, blurring his vision as he struggled uselessly against his bonds.

The water kept creeping closer, biting at his boots then his knees, past his waist to his chest as he slid effortlessly deeper into the cold. Panting in rapid breaths, still jerking against the ropes that held him, Usopp took a deep breath as his head ducked under the water, the bubbly whoosh of being submerged sounding way too loud in his ears.

Then everything came to a jerking halt and he looked up, the water rocking everything to look slightly blurry as he realized the surface was _right there!_ If he could just get free he would live! He had a chance at this! He could sneak back on board and warn the others before Sanji tried to hurt anyone else.

Gasping was a huge mistake as water flooded his mouth. The cold bite of salt overwhelming his tongue and he choked on it, coughing out the last of his air, the bubbles popping lazily right over his head. He hadn't seen anyone else. Hadn't heard Brook's music now that he thought about it. Panic set in at the fact he had no oxygen, a stinging bite erupting in his lungs as his head began to swim.

Nor had he seen Luffy on the lion's head. Stars burst before Usopp's eyes and even though he couldn't actually see them, he knew he was crying. A ringing in his ears began to whine for him since he could not. Sanji was literally going to be the death of him. Something he was now kicking himself for saying all those times before.

He struggled again, his lungs burning and aching with the need to breathe, yet even if he did inhale, which he did do, his body's instincts overriding his brain's willpower, all it did was flood his lungs with water, stinging at his nostrils and furthering his panic of what was happening here. He was drowning, quickly, and by the hands of his own nakama.


	9. Franky

Franky paused, pulling his goggles up into his hair when he thought he heard a grinding and whirring. It was quiet a moment before he heard it again and the cyborg sighed as he got up, throwing the goggles onto the table and padding his way towards the door that lead to the gear room of the docking system. If Luffy had gotten in there again and started messing with his tools...there would be mutiny among the Strawhats.

"Lu...ffy?" Ending the the yell in a dropped question as he flung open the door, Franky was puzzled to find the room empty, but there did seem to be a large wrench jammed in one of the gears. He really was going to kill his captain one of these days. Either that or make him remove the problem. Would be safer for him anyways, being rubber and all...

Mumbling to himself, the shipwright turned and headed back down towards the workshop to get what he would need to remove the most likely now ruined wrench and to temporarily shut off the power to the docking system so he didn't end up like his now destroyed tools. Thankfully Nami had deemed whatever he needed for ship repairs separate from his own cuts, so this wouldn't hurt his earnings, not that it really mattered anyways. The Thousand Sunny was his baby after all. He would and had poured his earnings into him before. He would do it again.

Setting his tool box down with a thunk, Franky sighed, crossed his arms and took a moment to survey the damage and problem. "Not super man..." He muttered as he bent to grab a crowbar before climbing up into the gears and hunkering down, quite awkwardly, he might add, to dislodge the tool. Who threw it all the way towards the back of the gear set was a moron. They couldn't have made it simple for him and tossed it in the front one? No, they had to pull back and throw it all the way towards the back, near the last one against the side of the room.

And climbing back here wasn't as easy as it used to be. His shoulders were fucking super awesome and all, but scraped against the edges of the other gears and he had a hard time getting to the right angle now cause of them. Where the hell was Usopp when he needed him? Babysitting Captain Pain-in-the-ass hopefully. He had said the two were fishing.

Frowning down at the wrench, the cyborg frowned. This was, _was_ being a key word here, one of his best wrenches too. Not much he could do about it at the moment anyways, so he set the crowbar under it and wedged it between that and the gear. Twisting, his shoulder ground up against the upper gear, jolting him to a halt. Okay, so maybe the shoulders hadn't been such a super idea after all. Just a little more and he would be able to get the right angle on the crowbar and hopefully pop it loose.

Then he could figure out how the hell to get out of here without scraping too much of his awesome paint. "Franky?!"

"Yeah, in here Sanji-bro! What's up?" Turning to yell over his shoulder, he went back to what he was doing, trying to creep literally just a few more centimeters closer to this fucking destroyed wrench and be done with it. He could hear the screech of his body sliding against the gears, digging deeper into the paint and making the entire process of leaving that much harder.

"Ah, there you are. Perfect." The blond's voice seemed a little too smooth for Franky's liking as cigarette smoke drifted into his nose. "Are you stuck?"

"No," he grunted the word out, finally gaining that last little bit and moving the crowbar slightly as he did so. "But someone lodged my favorite wrench down back here. What are you doing down here? You need something Bro?"

"Just checking."

"Checking what?" But he didn't get an answer as the sound of the cook's shoes clicked away calmly. Too calmly if the shipwright really thought about it, which he had lately. Sanji was hiding it well, but Franky could see it. He was hurting, they all were, but he seemed to be more than the rest. Not that it didn't make sense, cause it totally did. But unlike the rest, including their own scatterbrained captain, he wasn't talking about it.

Plus he looked like shit at breakfast. There was no way it was as simple as staying up all night with the sick doctor. What was he hiding now? Was he finally dealing with it? The cyborg certaintly hoped so. It would be about damned time.

Chopper had told the cook time and time again to talk, to go into his little office and tell him how he was feeling. Sanji would just growl out "I'm dealing with it" and the conversation would end. Their cook was getting more distant and sloppy if Franky did say so. His fighting style lacked recently and he was pretty sure it was because he was focused on what had happened and not what was going to be happening as they all struggled to move forwards. It was going to get him killed and he wondered briefly, and not for the first time, if that's just what Sanji was waiting for.

Baring down on the crowbar, it snapped up, popping the ruined wretch free, sending both it and the crowbar clattering to the far side of the gear. Just great, how the hell was he going to get those? Maybe he could get Chopper to climb back there? With a growl, he pushed back, pausing as a shudder rang through the gears with a low whine.

Franky tilted his head, listening to the sounds around him and the vibrations under his hands and body. This wasn't good. Jerking his shoulders, trying to free them from the grasp of the gear above him, Franky grunted, mind racing. The metal of his body was strong, but so was the metal used to create the gear system of the ship. It was debatable who would hold out longer.

There was a low and loud clunk that sent shock right through the shipwright's brain. Someone was activating the docking system?! But he had shut it down! He was sure of it! He never worked in here unless it was off and there was no reason to start it back up. There was no Luffy running and screaming to take the mini Merry out. No Nami asking to take the wave rider out. No Chopper wanting to go swimming. In fact it was strangely quiet aboard the Sunny. Then who could it... "Sanji!"

Bracing his hands, Franky pushed back, trying to free his, at the moment, stupid shoulders, doing nothing more but wedging them further into the top gear. There was another shudder and ever so slowly the top cog began to move, baring down on his shoulders and slowly pulling him towards the space he had just pulled the wrench from.

He got no answer from the blond chef, not that he was really focused on it as his gaze locked onto the large rutted piece of metal getting dangerously close to his face now, pulling his whole body closer to the closing maw made by the two large gears the jostled the entire network to life. If he didn't get free this was going to get ugly and fast.

The teeth of the gears bit down, denting the metal and flaking the paint, little pieces falling to litter the space right in front of Franky's face. He saw flashes of red and yellow all about his view as the teeth ground down, biting into his shoulders and ripping them apart.

Totally not a super way to go.


	10. Sanji

Sanji took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he made his way across the lawn deck back towards the galley. He walked quietly, calmly and without hurry, mind in a slight daze as his jacket slipped from his shoulders to the grass. He paused, looking down at the offending object with a frown, trying to contemplate whether or not to pick it up, shrugging and moving on. It was almost over now and it would be quiet for a very long time. A peace he hadn't realized he had been longing for.

He had his regrets about what he had accomplished today, the process being entirely way to simple; his nakama had trusted him after all. But it was over now...they wouldn't be asking questions he couldn't answer any longer...Nor would he be answering questions they wouldn't believe his answers to...

His dress shoes sounded way too hollow on the stairs as he trekked up them with ease, removing his tie from around his neck and letting it slip through his fingers before running a hand through his messy hair and closing his eyes. He was a wreck, both physically and mentally, had been for a while now and Sanji was so glad no one was able to see him like this. He had managed to keep it contained till just recently, before the small cracks spider webbed through the walls to just break apart and it needed to end. It would ruin his image...not that what he had done wouldn't already, but none of his crew mates would be the wiser to it, each thinking it was an isolated incident. He had planned it that way for a reason.

Catching a glimpse of his reflection in the window by the door, the cook snarled and turned, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one, setting the pack on the rail next to him. The nicotine did nothing to calm his jittery nerves, his unkept image staring back at him kick starting the lack of control he had on his raging emotions lately. He sucked harshly at the stick, hollowing his cheeks and tapping his foot. Raking a hand through his bangs in a lame and useless attempt to settle the strands, Sanji turned back towards the kitchen door.

This was it. This would be the test.

Rolling the end of his cigarette with his tongue, biting down on it with his teeth, Sanji wouldn't say he was nervous, apprehensive, sure, but not nervous. Pulling it from his mouth, Sanji flicked the half spent butt over the rail and sighed again. Hand splayed on the door, he pushed it open and stepped inside. It was cool and dark and quiet, just how he left it and his attention immediately went to the far corner like it did every other time he came in here.

The door closed behind him with a soft click as Sanji let his eyes linger on the weapons stashed in the corner. They never moved, never shifted, placed just the way he liked them, the back two standing straight with the white one tilted and leaned against them. "Sanji!" The sweet loving call of his name snapped his attention back the other way, and the cook couldn't help the slight downward turn of his mouth as his heart leapt at the sight.

Zoro always had this affect on him, even way back when, but now as Sanji felt himself get slammed against the door, the other man's mouth over his own, it was becoming too much. Sometimes he would wait till the night was over, till the rest of the crew would leave. Other times, like now, the moment he set foot in his galley the swordsman would be there, taking over his body and mind and stirring things that were supposed to be dimming, not being any less important, but needing to be sent to the back of the cook's mind where he could work through everything.

This wasn't helping in the slightest. Sliding his hands up Zoro's bare chest, Sanji got lost for a moment, kissing back with as much loyal passion as he was getting before reality kicked in and he jerked his head back, slamming his open palms to the tanned chest and pushing the swordsman away from him.

A look of shock crossed the dark eye for just a second as he stumbled back, before a grin formed and he chuckled low in his throat. "Gonna play that way today huh?"

"No." Sanji spoke firmly, swinging a leg out as the swordsman came at him. Zoro ducked low, coming up under his outstretched leg and grabbing a hold of his upper arms, slamming him against the door again with a loud rattle, grinding their bodies together as he bit at the pale flesh of his neck.

"Tell me you don't want this Sanji," Zoro spoke low, that slight husky rumble sending shivers down the blond's spine. Sanji could feel the heat of the other man, tensing as he ground their hips together again, the moss head's mouth clamped onto his neck right below his ear as he sucked and lapped at the tender flesh.

"Zoro!" Sanji yelped, jerking his whole body in an attempt to loosen the larger man's hold. "Get off!" Managing to get one leg free, Sanji placed it against the swordsman's hip and pushed him back, holding him at leg length as Zoro grabbed at his foot and held on, moving the limb up towards his chest in both hands. "Let go." He snapped his leg back and for once, the marimo complied, letting his foot go with a shrug.

"Che...whatever stupid cook." Turning with a wave of his hand, the swordsman walked over towards the couch and flopped onto it, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eye.

"This isn't real," the blond murmured, hands going up into his hair as he took a step into his kitchen, shoes sounding way too loud all of a sudden in the room. "_You're not real!_" Sanji looked over to where Zoro lay through the mess of his hair and fingers.

Zoro opened his eye again, concern washing over his face as he sat up, dropping his feet to the floor. "You okay Sanji?"

"NO!" Sanji snapped, dashing suddenly for the kitchen, rounding the island and slamming his back against the stove. "No, I'm not okay! Enough already! This can't be happening!" The blond pushed himself tighter against the stove, moving down towards the counter and fridge, hands scrabbling for hold against the wood as Zoro walked over to him, booted feet thumping quietly on the floor. "I can't take this anymore!"

His emotions finally getting the best of him, Sanji let out a sob, tears running down his face. The swordsman paused, hand outstretched as if he wanted to pull Sanji too him, to wrap him in his arms and tell him it would all be okay. And Sanji wanted that, damn did he want that... His whole body shook now, backed into the corner of the wall and cool metal of the fridge. "I watched you die Zoro! ...In my arms! I saw the light fade from your eye and the life drain away."

Zoro snorted. "What are you talking about cook? I'm right here! Look at me! Do I look dead to you?" He took another step forwards and the blond threw a hand out, pointing at him.

"Don't!" He splayed his fingers, patting at the air. "Just don't. Stay there."

The moss head lowered his eyebrows into a glare. "Sanji, you are being stupid." Taking a step forwards to close the gap, Zoro kept talking. Sanji's eyes widened in panic, hands slamming back against the large metal door as he shook his head.

"No..." He rambled on as Zoro came closer, the swordsman taking each step slowly and one at a time. "I fucking killed you! Don't you remember! I took that damned sword of yours and ran you through!"

"Well if you did that I most certainty would be dead Sanji." Zoro said flatly, eying him carefully.

The cook swallowed, sucked in a breath and tried to exhale without shaking. He failed at it horribly, vision blurred from his tears as he choked on another sob. "I don't understand. I thought I was just dreaming for a while! I...I...none of it made sense! How could you still be here?! I had to be seeing things! It all started with a glimpse here or there. Chopper said it was normal, especially considering that it was _me_ that fucking watched you _die _Zoro!"

"Sanji I'm not dead!" Zoro growled.

The cook ignored him, babbling on and shaking his head. "But then I actually saw you. Here, in the galley, you were sitting at the table, head resting on your hands like you were asleep. I thought I was just over tired. I really haven't been sleeping as well you can imagine, so I went about my business. That was the first time..."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" The swordsman heard his own voice crack as he spoke. The fucking cook was going nuts.

"Then I started hearing your voice when I was in here!" Another body wracking sob tore through Sanji, his knees going weak and he slumped back against the fridge, dropping his face into his hands. "I went to Chopper once with it, but he told me it was impossible for me to actually be seeing you and hearing you. He said that I was imagining your touch and I really needed to start the recovery process and move on. How the hell am I supposed to move on whenever I enter my own kitchen you are here waiting for me?" Raising his head, Sanji hissed out the words to the crouching swordsman in front of him. Zoro still looked unimpressed if not blurred slightly and he wiped a hand across his face, sniffling as he did so.

"I don't know why you are here," Sanji stood back up, not realizing he had even fallen to the floor. "But it is time to go." He whispered, side stepping around Zoro and walking calmly towards the far side of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Standing, the moss head raised an eyebrow at the blond as he turned and crossed his arms. His back was still to him and Zoro could see him place both hands on the counter, taking a deep breath. "Love cook? Answer me."

Instantly Zoro closed the distance, stopping right in front of the blond as Sanji turned and faced him. He raised a hand, ghosting over Zoro's cheek with a small sad smile. "I loved you, you know that. I still love you Zoro."

"Sanji...please..." Zoro could hear the panic in his own voice at how calm the blond had gotten all of a sudden. His eyes were rimmed in black and red, swollen from his tears, but the smile remained. "Stop whatever you are thinking of doing." He reached out to cup the blond's cheek, eye going wide in shock as he seemed to pass right through him.

Sanji chuckled at this, watching in slight amusement as Zoro did it again, trying to grasp onto Sanji in any way he could. "I have done some pretty shitty things today Zoro; but it's okay now."

"What are you talking about? This isn't okay! Sanji!" He felt a hysteria rise up the back of his throat as he tried desperately to grasp a hold of the blond standing in front of him. Why couldn't he touch Sanji?! He had been able to just a moment ago. What in the hell was going on here?!

"I love you you shitty swordsman." Zoro took a step back in horror, eye wide as he watched his lover raise the knife against his own throat. He watched, helplessly frozen with shock as the blond effortlessly slid the blade across his pale flesh, watching in terror as the crimson welled from the wound.

The swordsman had seen a lot of death, had inflicted a good portion of it himself, but to hear the gurgles of his blond as he paled further, eyes dilating in severe pain, wracked his entire being. Zoro felt like he wanted to throw up, a pain welling in his gut as he stared at the blond before reality struck him and he moved.

"Sanji!" Jumping forwards, Zoro meant to catch the other man, astonishment evident as the blond seemed to slip between his fingers, literally passing through the swordsman to drop to his knees, eyes lolling, before passing out and crumpling to a heap on the floor of the galley. "Oh..." The comment broke off as choked sob of his own broke from his mouth. Zoro fell back on his ass, unable to do nothing more but stare at the dying form of his lover on the floor. Scrabbling away from the pooling blood as it made its way across the polished Adam's wood.

Zoro couldn't remember the last time he had cried, but right now the tears fell unchecked down his cheeks as he tried again to touch the blond, growing more aggravated each time he wasn't able to. "He's right you know," Snapping his attention to the oh so familiar voice, Zoro found his angel standing by the edge of the kitchen, the Wado Ichimonji in his hands. Eye still wide in terror and fear, the swordsman jumped to his feet thankful at seeing something familiar.

Sanji chewed on a cigarette, his wings resting lazily against his back. "Come on moss for brains, it's time to go."

"Go?" Tilting his head slightly, Zoro took the few leery steps towards the angel, who held out the sword to him. "Go where? What's going on? What do you mean he's right? I'm..." He trailed off, not really wanting to say the word. There was no way he was dead. He still had so much to accomplish, but the cook wouldn't be acting like this if it wasn't true. He wouldn't have... "When?"

The angel shrugged, ignoring the question completely. "Where ever it is you are deemed to go. It took me a little while, but I finally figured it out. He tied you here with this." Sanji nodded at the white weapon in his hands. "Everything he said was true. You're dead. Even I couldn't bring you back that time." Zoro eyed his weapon suspiciously for a moment then flicked his eyes back up to the blond. He couldn't be his cook, there was no way. He looked like Sanji, talked like him, hell even acted like him, but... Glancing over his shoulder, the blond lay on the floor just as Zoro had left him. "Go on, take it Roronoa Zoro."

Reaching out cautiously, Zoro placed his hand on the weapon, eyes never leaving the angel in front of him. As his fingers wrapped around the cold saya, the swordsman saw a flash of something cross the angel's face. Something that was dark and most definitely not Sanji. Something with bright red eyes and sharp teeth. The angel's wings shot out towards Zoro, enveloping him in their darkness, soft and fleeting. Then there was nothing.


End file.
